A survey of male submissive kinks: #6 Homosexual acts with men
The category that deals with sexual fantasies of encouraged or forced homosexual or bisexual acts with men, and how they intertwine with other kinks.
This is part of a series of essays that collectively survey male submissive kinks. Find the Table of contents here.
In today’s world, in pursuing a woman he desires, a man can run into the problem of having his sexual orientation questioned by her. If the woman suspects him to be sexually attracted to men or to have done sexual acts with them, her interest in him as a mate usually vanishes and the man’s reproductive strategy fails. For this reason, men are very attuned to cues in their behavior and comportment that might signal “gayness” to the woman, cues that they readily seek to eliminate. There is an evolutionary logic to this phenomenon.
Men have evolved a sexual psychology that seeks to nurture virility and masculinity in appearance and behavior because women have evolved a sexual psychology that selects for these traits and attributes in men. This, in turn, is because these traits and attributes in a man are reliable indicators of his ability to provide for the woman and to protect her while she raises their offspring.
The suspicion of femininity in a man is enough to make a woman lose interest in him. One avenue of feminine behavior is sexuality. The man who has sex with other men as the receiving partner takes on a feminine role when perceived from the lens of heterosexual sex. Thus, femininity and homosexuality are inextricably linked in the evolved sexual psychology of humans. The suspicion that a man is gay gives the opposite signals to the ones a woman is looking for when selecting a sexual mate.
Since homosexuality has been almost universally stigmatized and homosexuals almost universally ostracized from society since time immemorial, if a woman were to pursue a successful reproductive strategy, she would have done well to avoid any risk of choosing a mate who was sexually attracted to other men, no matter how small the chances were.
This is due to the fact that there is a huge cost to be paid in the event that the man gets sexual with another man and this becomes public knowledge in the tribe or society. The public ridicule and the ostracism that inevitably follow will ruin the woman’s reputation and foil her reproductive strategy. For these reasons, it is in the woman’s best interest to avoid choosing a man as a mate under the slightest suspicion of homosexual feeling.
Yet some men eroticize exactly this: that a woman will think they are sexually attracted to men, that she will encourage them or force them to engage in sexual acts with other men, or that she will change their sexual orientation from straight to gay. These sexual fantasies involve a range of different scenarios and they can intertwine with many other kinks.
These fantasies come in two flavors: in the first, the man is imagined to be homosexual, exclusively attracted to men; in the second, the man is imagined to be bisexual, sexually attracted to men on top of his attraction to women. For the sake of style and simplicity, I use “homosexuality kink” to refer to both as the important element is being sexual with other men.
Gay bestie
Some men fantasize about pursuing a woman they desire only for her to put them in the category of the platonic gay best friend, or “bestie” for short. The man might develop a friendship with the woman with the intention of pursuing her romantically or sexually, but the woman might not ever know the true nature of his feelings toward her.
Eventually, the woman might reveal that she always thought he was gay, to the utter astonishment of the man who is sexually aroused by the revelation. This revelation can come directly if the woman tells the man or indirectly if, for example, she introduces him to a friend of hers as her gay male friend or if she asks him in conversation if he has a boyfriend or if he is dating any man.
In these cases, the homosexuality kink intertwines with the rejection kink. The man who sees himself put in the gay bestie box has no chance of ever coming out of it to conquer the woman romantically or sexually. His chances with the woman are doomed since she does not believe he is sexually attracted to women in the first place.
This utter failure of the man’s efforts and the humiliation of his sexuality can be powerful erotic stimuli in the imagination of some men. A man who fantasizes about being a gay bestie to a woman he desires can further fantasize about being made to participate in feminine activities with her, such as going shopping or gossiping about men.
Since a gay best friend has by definition no sexual interest in the woman, she feels comfortable confiding in him all the details of her sex life. The man can therefore eroticize being made to hear all about the woman’s sexual adventures with other men while he is forever denied because she thinks he is gay.
Furthermore, the man can be sexually aroused at the suggestion by the woman best friend that he should explore his sexuality by signing up for gay dating applications, talking to guys online, going on dates with them, and ultimately having sex with a man.
In some of these fantasies, the woman is imagined to have made an honest mistake in judging the man’s sexual orientation, something the man does not find the courage to point out to her. Thus, he finds himself dragged into the terrain of homosexuality despite his best efforts.
In other fantasies, the woman assumes a more dominating position and makes the assessment that the man is gay based on his lack of masculine attributes. The man, who does not want to lose access to the woman no matter if the access is purely platonic, yields to her humiliating suggestions about his sexual orientation and to her demands for him to perform homosexual acts that are degrading to him.
Cuckold
Fantasies revolving around the homosexuality kink can also arise in connection with the cuckolding kink in the context of a relationship or a marriage. The cuckold, who is denied sexual access to the woman, can be made to suffer watching her have sex with other men, the bulls that sexually satisfy her more than the cuckold ever could.
In these scenarios, the cuckold can be made by his female partner to perform humiliating sexual acts relating to her encounters with other men. For example, he can be made to perform oral sex on a bull to prepare his penis for intercourse with the woman, or to clean it up after the bull ejaculates. The cuckold can also be made to be passively penetrated by the bull for the woman’s enjoyment or for the bull’s sexual gratification.
The cuckold can also be humiliated by being made to lie down beneath a woman who is penetrated by the bull in the doggystyle position. In this way, the cuckold receives all the body fluids that drip from the act of intercourse down into his mouth and onto his face.
The cuckold can also be made to perform oral sex on the woman herself after the bull ejaculates inside her. Such an act is called a “cum cleanup” as the cuckold is imagined to be cleaning up the woman’s genitalia from the bull’s semen using his mouth and his tongue, duly suffering the humiliating fate of licking another man’s ejaculate and swallowing all the secretions.
The woman can make it so that the only time the cuckold can perform oral sex on her is when he is performing such a cleanup act. For example, the woman might come back from a tryst, sullied with her lover’s semen, to find the cuckold at home ready to perform cunnilingus as part of his cleanup duties.
A similar humiliating act is when the woman kisses the cuckold after she performs oral sex on the bull. This is even more humiliating if the bull ejaculates in the woman’s mouth beforehand, in which case she engages in “cum swapping” with the cuckold when she kisses him.
In some cuckolding fantasies, the man is unaware of his female partner’s infidelity, and it is only during sex with her, when he is performing cunnilingus, that he discovers another man’s semen in her vagina. The woman admits to cheating but the man’s humiliation is irreparable as he has already tasted her lover’s ejaculate.
Some sexual fantasies involve the female partner bringing home a condom full of semen from a sexual encounter she had with another man. The condom is presented as a gift to the cuckold and the woman demands that the contents be emptied into the cuckold’s mouth. The cuckold is expected to accede to the woman’s demands, swallowing the semen as a sign of his devotion to her.
Some men fantasize about serving the bull as a slave or servant. In this case, the cuckold sees the bull as his superior and he serves him in the same manner he serves the dominating woman. These acts of servitude do not have to be sexual, but they form part of the homosexuality kink.
Feminization
There is a great deal of overlap between the homosexuality kink and the feminization kink, but they can occur independently. A man might fantasize about being forced to become a woman but only having sex with women. Conversely, a man might fantasize about being made to perform homosexual acts as a man without any feminization involved in the fantasy.
When these two kinks overlap, feminization and homosexual acts go hand in hand. The homosexuality kink can be part of the feminization process to train the feminized man into adopting a female sexual behavior, to learn to please men and to service them sexually, both in giving oral sex and in receiving anal penetration.
Men with these kinks can be greatly aroused at the thought of being a woman who easily gives up sexual access to her body. A feminized man might imagine himself going out into the world and letting himself loose in the night life of a city, going through the thrilling experience of giving himself up to male strangers who use his body for their sexual satisfaction. The feminized man racks up anonymous sexual partners and earns the rightful title of a slut.
Any experience that is sexually degrading to a woman can sexually arouse the man who has both the feminization and the homosexuality kinks. These fantasies include, for example, the experience of having sex with complete strangers, of going to a gloryhole and performing oral sex on anonymous men, of being the center of a gangbang with men, and of being reduced to a sex slave who can be used anytime and anyplace.
Indeed, it seems that the whole gamut of female submissive sexual fantasies becomes accessible to the erotic imagination of the man who has the kinks of feminization and homosexuality as he imagines himself in the role of a heterosexual woman.
Mental manipulation
The homosexuality kink can intertwine with aspects of control of the man’s sexual pleasure and masturbatory habits if the woman encourages or forces him to watch gay pornography or to masturbate to images of penises or other men in general.
If these fantasies are of the purely gay flavor, the sexually attractive woman can suggest to the man that he is in fact not aroused by the spectacle of her sexy body on display, that he is rather aroused by men and penises. In others words, he is gay, not straight. The woman can encourage the man to lessen his inhibitions and give in to the supposed inner desire he has to engage in homosexual acts, in accordance with his true gay sexual orientation.
If the fantasies are of the bisexual flavor, the woman can use her alluring sex appeal to persuade the man to think about performing sexual acts with other men. The woman acknowledges his heterosexual attraction to her but suggests that he is bisexual and therefore also attracted to men. As such, the woman can use the man’s sexual attraction toward her to entice him into a sexual attraction toward men.
Some men fantasize about being manipulated into developing a sexual attraction to men, thus changing their sexual orientation from straight to gay or to bisexual. The dominating woman can use an array of devices to achieve the imagined reprogramming of the man’s sexual orientation. Hypnosis, subliminal cues, mantras, brainwashing, and classical conditioning can all be part of these fantasies.
Some pornography caters to the specific coalescence of the homosexuality kink with brain reprogramming. This pornography can feature a montage of sexually appealing women overlayed with images of large penises and of men having sex with each other. Accompanying visual and auditory special effects and hypnotic imagery complete the picture, alongside the woman’s alluring voice that guides the man through the process.
The viewer imagines himself to be under the influence of the dominating woman, vulnerable to the reprogramming of his sexual orientation. This supposed reprogramming is imagined to eliminate the man’s sexual attraction to women and to rewire his brain to be sexually attracted to men instead. The sexual urge to penetrate a vagina is imagined to be erased and replaced with the sexual urge to perform fellatio on men and to receive anal penetration from them.
Verbal humiliation can play a prominent part in fantasies of homosexual acts with other men. In this humiliation, men are sexually aroused by the word “faggot” in particular. In fantasies of brain reprogramming, the man can be made to recite degrading affirmations to himself, such as “I am gay” or “I am a faggot”, or to declare his attraction to penises or his desire to sexually pleasure men.
Prostitution and rape
The homosexuality kink can intertwine with other kinks of manipulation. Some men fantasize about being made to perform sexual acts with other men against their wishes, under the command and threats of an attractive woman. The woman can, for example, have sensitive information in her possession that she uses to blackmail the man into doing as he is told.
One such fantasy is forced prostitution, where the man is made to become a male prostitute for the woman. Men with this fantasy imagine themselves being forced to go out onto the streets and to humiliate themselves by having sex with male strangers in exchange for money.
They fantasize about performing oral sex on these strangers and letting them penetrate them anally only to bring the money they made back to their pimp, the woman who orchestrates the whole thing. In such fantasies, the aspect of financial domination is also present because the woman gets all the man’s earnings from the prostitution of his gay sexual services.
These fantasies of prostitution can be made more humiliating if the woman turns the man into a cheap prostitute, making his sexual services cost only a few dollars. This means that more men will be willing to hire his sexual services and he will thus be accessible to more men to be used in more humiliating ways.
Another fantasy involves a woman who uses the man as a sex pet, a sex slave, or a sex toy. In these fantasies, the man, who is subjugated to the will of the woman, yields to her demands that he should make himself available to pleasure her gay friends and to be sexually used by them as they see fit. This can take place in a house party for example. The woman offers up the submissive man for the enjoyment of her gay friends, and the man indulges her requests to please her.
In some fantasies the homosexual acts are encouraged; in others, they are reluctantly extracted by way of blackmail. In yet other fantasies, the man is simply raped. He is forced to perform sexual acts with other men against his will and without his prior knowledge. The rape is arranged by a malevolent woman who prepares the rapist or the group of rapists for the occasion. The rape can be facilitated by intoxication or physical restraint.
Sexual orientation
What is peculiar about the fantasies of homosexual acts is that, for the most part, they only arouse the men who have them if a woman is involved in directing the sexual acts, be it by way of encouragement or force. The presence of the woman is necessary because the sexual arousal to be had from these fantasies is in the man’s subjugation to the woman and his humiliation by her.
Men who have the homosexuality kink differ in the extent to which they would wish to enact these fantasies in real life. Some men would never engage in the homosexual acts they fantasize about, sure of themselves that they would not enjoy sexual contact with another man. Others, however, would readily engage in these acts in real life but only under the guidance of a woman.
The actual sexual orientation of the man might be an important determining factor in this. Men who are heterosexual are less likely to desire acting out the homosexuality kink in real life. Bisexual men, on the other hand, are more likely to want to explore the kink of being humiliated for their bisexuality in real life with other men, since they are sexually attracted to them independently of the kink.
This concludes a survey of the kinks involved in the category of homosexual acts with men. If you think something is missing from this overview, leave a comment and share your thoughts. You can also message me on Substack or on Reddit if you wish to remain anonymous and discuss privately.
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The line art in this essay’s card is by Georgian artist Dorian Chelios.