The structure of male submissive sexual fantasies: Female worship
The category that deals with sexual fantasies of worshiping the woman like a goddess, and how they intertwine with other kinks.
This is part of a series of essays that collectively survey male submissive kinks. Find the Table of contents here.
There is a class of male submissive sexual fantasies in which the woman is elevated to the position of a deity that the man worships as a goddess. On the face of it, this might not seem like a deep topic, but when one digs deeper into the psychology of this class of submissive fantasies, one discovers fascinating nuance. The expression of the eroticism of men who fantasize about worshiping women has exact analogues in actual religious worship. Religious worshipers attribute godlike characteristics to their object of adoration and engage in an entire repertoire of religious feeling and behavior that includes idealization and praise, devotion and blind obedience, trials and tests, reward and punishment, sin and absolution, rituals and practices, prayers and incantations, states of trance, a sense of purpose, sacrifice and abnegation, and the elusive experience of religious ecstasy. This category surveys the major ways in which this repertoire is emulated in sexual fantasies of female worship.
Idealization
One aspect of these fantasies is the idealization of the object of worship. In the erotic imagination of a man who fantasizes about worshiping a woman, she is not held in the image of her true self but in an ideal image. She is no longer a mere mortal, a human being who has faults and imperfections. As idealized in the man’s imagination, she transcends her limitations to become a perfect being.
The woman is imbued with this perfection in many ways. Physically, she is no longer thought of as a human female that can be physically unattractive in some ways. When idealized, she becomes the pinnacle of attractiveness, the epitome of physical perfection. She has the looks of a goddess and everything about her body is perfect. She has all the right proportions and measurements and not a single flaw can be identified in her physique.
Men who have goddess worship fantasies differ in the image they have of the goddess they fantasize about worshiping, but it always corresponds to their ideal of female physical attractiveness, what they picture to be the perfect woman. While some desire a delicate and elegant goddess, others, who are more inclined to be aroused by a woman’s physical strength, imagine the goddess to be muscular and physically imposing.
Psychologically, the woman who is idealized as a goddess is no longer thought of as a fallible human. In her ideal image, she possesses all the psychological qualities of perfection as well. She cannot err and she can never be wrong, for she is a goddess and she always knows best. She cannot be questioned about her opinions as they spring from her divine wisdom. Her insight and understanding are far beyond the man’s mortal abilities.
She is no longer thought of as a human that can experience psychological struggles if she falls victim to the disorders of the psyche. She is pure and graceful, invulnerable to the mental disturbances that affect mortals. She has absolute certainty in her actions and possesses an unshakable confidence in herself. She is immune to self-doubt and all the other parasitic trains of thought that can hinder the human mind when it falls prey to them.
Such is the woman’s ideal image held in the man’s erotic imagination, where she transforms from a mere mortal to a goddess on earth, a divine being. The man is in awe of her, just like religious worshipers of any deity experience awe in contemplating the perfection of their god.
Because men’s evolved mate preferences are greatly concerned with women’s physical attractiveness, the physique is an important element in the ideal image of the woman as a goddess. The awe of the man who worships her is therefore often primarily directed toward her physical attractiveness.
Such an idealization requires a certain suspension of disbelief when a man is fantasizing about a real woman. If the goddess trips and commits an indiscretion, she can shatter the image of herself as a perfect being. An example of this was related to me by a man who has sexual fantasies of goddess worship.
The man was watching a pornographic video made by a female performer embodying the role of the goddess who was meant to be worshiped by the viewer. In her scripted monologue, she said “what’s the consensus?” when she meant to ask the viewer “what’s the verdict?”. This unfortunate faux-pas made the man lose his sexual excitement as it caused a disconnect between his idealized image of the woman as a perfect goddess on the one hand, and the reality of her shortcomings in the English vocabulary on the other.
Devotion
The man who worships a woman as a goddess is devoted to her like the worshipers of any deity are to theirs. This devotion is psychologically experienced by the man in his erotic imagination as a deep feeling of commitment to the woman.
He loves her in the religious sense. He does not expect anything from her, nor does he desire to possess her for himself. Such feelings and expectations are not appropriate for the divine female as perceived by the man. Rather, he is unconditionally devoted to her as his goddess. This devotion often precludes sexual access to her or, in some cases, makes it conditional and only grants it as an occasional reward.
When sexual access is completely off the table, the man wonders in awe what it would feel like to have sex with his goddess, to kiss her lips, to feel her touch, to please her with his mouth. In this contemplation, he can experience something akin to what some religious worshipers experience when pondering the afterlife in heaven. In effect, for the man who has sexual fantasies of goddess worship, sex with the goddess is the exact analogue of paradise.
In some cases, sexual access is allowed under certain conditions and granted as a reward to the man, but he has to prove himself in some way to earn that reward. Sexual acts between the man and the goddess, when they are part of the fantasy, always put the woman in a superior position. The focus is always on her pleasure; the man’s sexual satisfaction is an auxiliary matter.
The sexual gratification of the goddess is a must, but that of the man is at her whims. He cannot orgasm without his goddess’s permission, for which she can make him beg and plead. His supplications are the parallel of the prayers of religious worshipers. While he begs, the man can be asked to assume submissive physical positions like kneeling in front of the goddess or prostrating himself, much like religious worshipers do in their prayers.
The goddess can grant permission to climax if she feels generous or forbid it simply because she feels like doing so. If the man is granted release, he feels a great sense of gratitude which he expresses verbally by thanking his goddess. If the man is denied, he endures his fate like the devout worshiper he is, never feeling resentment toward his goddess and always accepting her decisions. Rebellion is unthinkable.
Trials
The man can be put through trials and tribulations to test his loyalty to the goddess. He must remain stoic and endure these hardships that test his patience and commitment to the woman. If he is successful in passing these tests, he pleases his goddess and strengthens his devotion to her by blindly obeying her commands and fulfilling her wishes. Tests of devotion feature prominently in many religions and faiths. Here, they find their analogues in sexual fantasies of goddess worship.
It was already mentioned how the control of the man’s sexual pleasure, by denying him orgasm, can serve as a test that he must accept unconditionally. Chastity can serve the same purpose. If the goddess decides to lock the man’s penis in a cage, he must accept his fate and surrender the complete control over his sexual pleasure to her. The goddess then becomes the sole arbiter of when the man’s penis is released—if ever it is. Thus, sexual fantasies of goddess worship can incorporate the chastity kink where the archetypes of goddess and keyholder fuse.
The goddess can test her worshiper’s devotion by soiling him in acts that he must accept no matter how uncomfortable or disgusting they are to him. Here, fantasies of goddess worship incorporate the soiling kinks. For example, the goddess can demand that her worshiper swallow her saliva, lick her sweat, clean the dirt off her feet with his tongue, or drink her urine. These acts are typically imagined to be performed while the man assumes a submissive physical position, such as kneeling in front of the woman or lying on the ground while she stands or sits on top of him.
In some fantasies, the substances involved in these acts of soiling lose their repulsive nature in the man’s erotic imagination, gaining instead a positive character as gifts from the goddess. Because she is perfect, her substances must by extension be divine. Thus, for example, the man can imagine himself relishing the taste of the woman’s saliva after she spits in his mouth, picturing it to be a delectable divine substance that he feels very fortunate to experience with his palate.
The man can also be subjected to corporal punishment as a test of his devotion. In these scenarios, the goddess inflicts pain on him which he must endure without breaking. Many forms of corporal punishment can serve this purpose. The goddess can also deprive the man of his liberty, physically restraining him or confining him for a set period of time, which can also serve as a test of devotion.
For an example of corporal punishment, the goddess can kick the man in the testes, directing the pain at his genitals. He must take this pain, regain his composure, and present himself in front of his goddess with his legs spread after every blow, ready to receive the next. He must suppress his instinctual reflexes of shying away from the incoming kicks and he must not flinch in anticipation of them. This and many other forms of corporal punishment serve the purpose of testing the man’s commitment to the goddess.
Punishment can also be imposed by the goddess on the man under any pretense that makes him deserve to be chastised, such as when he fails to please his goddess in one way or another. In this case, he can beg her for forgiveness, imploring her to have mercy on him and to spare him the punishment she reserved for his transgression, and promising her to conduct himself better in the future. These scenarios of asking the goddess for forgiveness are analogous to the religious experience of the absolution of sin.
Practice
The man’s worship of the woman as a goddess can take many forms. He performs these practices of worship to show his adoration and to prove his devotion. They mimic the spirit of the practices of actual religious worshipers, in the sense that they are actions performed as rituals to connect with the divine and to continually prove the worshiper’s dedication and commitment.
The sexual fantasies of goddess worship often focus on the adoration of the woman’s body in its physical perfection. Many body parts can become the object of worship, the most common ones being the feet, the buttocks, the breasts, and the vagina.1
These forms of worship can be preceded by spectacles of pleas and supplications if the goddess makes the man beg to worship her body. This worship then becomes a reward granted to the man out of the goddess’s generosity and he feels lucky to have the honor of worshiping those parts of her body. In carrying out these acts of worship, he can express his gratitude verbally by praising his goddess, articulating his ideal image of her, and telling her how perfect she is and how good it feels to be worshiping her.
Worship of the feet
The feet are the lowest part of the human body. Lowering oneself to another’s feet is a universal show of humility across human cultures, and kissing the feet is a token of deep respect and devotion. It is no surprise then that the feet of the woman hold special significance in sexual fantasies of goddess worship.
In these fantasies, the feet lose whatever negative appeal they might have to become a purely aesthetic part of the female body. As a physical part of the goddess, they are imagined to be perfect and beautiful, deserving of adoration and worship yet also symbolizing the man’s complete submission to the woman.
The man can gaze at the feet in a variety of situations and positions to admire their aesthetic character. The feet can be bare or shod, observed from the side or the bottom, clad from the most banal sandals to the most luxurious-looking high-heeled shoes. Spectacles like the dangling of footwear from the feet or their removal from the footwear can be greatly appreciated in the man’s erotic fancy.
Some men with goddess worship fantasies have precise requirements for the aesthetics of the foot. If a woman does not conform to their criteria, they find it difficult to imagine themselves worshiping her feet. Elements like the relative size and proportions of the toes, the bulkiness of the foot, and the characteristics of the arch can all make or break the fantasy in the erotic imagination of some men.
The foot of the goddess is often scrutinized in fantasies of foot worship. In this context, the soles hold special significance. They are examined for the texture of the wrinkles and the softness of the skin, which is directly experienced when the goddess puts her soles on the man’s face, an act imagined to bring an incredible sense of warmth and closeness with the divine female.
The interest in the foot of the goddess is thought of by some men as a substitute for conventional sexual acts. The focus on the feet is considered more appropriate given the nature of the man’s relationship to the woman. He is her devout worshiper and, as such, it is not his place to imagine himself in the position of having sex with her. It is more appropriate for him to shift his focus to her feet to the exclusion of those female body parts, like the breasts and the vagina, that are sexually appealing in the conventional sense.
The act of worshiping the woman’s feet can entail touching, caressing, massaging, kissing, licking, and sniffing them. The man who fantasizes about this form of worship experiences great delight in imagining the contact with the foot of the goddess, especially if such contact is granted as a reward. The scent of the feet can also be experienced exquisitely. When all other contact with the goddess is forbidden, the man can feel a certain euphoria at getting the only thing he can get from her, and he relishes in worshiping her feet for the brief moments he is granted that honor.
Worship of the buttocks and the breasts
Some men who have goddess worship fantasies can be almost transfixed by the spectacle of a woman’s buttocks or breasts. Indeed, these body parts feature prominently in these fantasies, where they are imagined to be perfect in accordance with the ideals of the fantasizer. They can be bare, clad in various forms of underwear and bras, or concealed under clothes. Some men have a more pronounced preference for one of these two parts over the other.
The breasts and the buttocks can be worshiped in a variety of ways. The man can simply gaze at them and contemplate their perfection, he can caress them and kiss them if the goddess allows such contact, and he can press the cheeks of his face against them to experience a pleasant feeling of warmth.
If the breasts or buttocks are concealed, the man can derive pleasure from the agony of not seeing them. He imagines what they look like under the fabric that hides them. He can beg the goddess to grant him the honor of seeing them. If she feels generous, the moment of revelation of the bare buttocks or breasts can be especially powerful.
For some men whose goddess worship fantasies incorporate the kinks of soiling, the act of worshiping the goddess’s buttocks can become focused on the anus. In this case, the man can fantasize about licking it and cleaning it with his tongue as part of the worship practice. He can also derive satisfaction from inhaling the scent of the anus, in which case the worship can entail the planting of the man’s face between the buttocks prior to the inspiration. In this connection, the position in which the woman sits on the man’s face can play a prominent role in these fantasies.
Worship of the vagina
The vagina itself is the most important part of the female body in fantasies of goddess worship. It is what the man desires above all, the most essential part in his sexual attraction to the woman. It is the vagina that really holds power over him and, as such, it is the center of the woman’s divine feminine essence. Because of this unique character of the vagina in sexual fantasies of goddess worship, it can come to be thought of as a deity in its own right.
The concealment of the vagina can be an important element in these fantasies. The man who cannot see the goddess’s vagina contemplates what it might look like. He imagines it to be perfectly aesthetically pleasing, warm, and moist. He wonders how enticed he would be by the bare spectacle of the woman’s external genitalia if he ever had the honor of seeing it.
In some fantasies of female worship that allow for sexual acts between the goddess and the man, the worship of the vagina can take the form of cunnilingus. The man pleasures the goddess with his mouth, an act he carries out like a religious duty. In these scenarios, the woman can sit on the man’s face during the oral sex, a position that symbolizes her absolute domination of him and his complete devotion to her.
Trance
One of the pillars of the human religious experience is the trance state that some worshipers attain in elaborate rituals that momentarily make them feel closer with the divine in an altered state of consciousness. Religious trance finds its analogue in sexual fantasies of goddess worship in some scenarios where the man fantasizes about reaching such altered states of consciousness. These states can be reached in a variety of ways in the course of the man’s worship of his goddess.
Hypnosis is a fixture in these fantasies where the man imagines himself under the influence of the goddess. She can hypnotize him with her physical perfection to bring him to a vulnerable state of mind where he is mentally weak. There, the goddess goes to work, manipulating him with mind tricks to reinforce his commitment to her. In such an imagined altered state of consciousness, the goddess can make her worshiper repeat mantras that he believes will have a direct effect on his brain, rewiring it to make him more submissive and devout.
Another way that such a state of trance is imagined to be reached is by the so-called practice of “gooning”. In this, the man engages in watching sexually arousing material of the goddess for an extended period of time, edging himself without release. He believes that such a prolonged state of arousal will weaken his mind and make him more vulnerable to the suggestions of the goddess.
Purpose
Religious beliefs often grant the worshiper a metaphysical sense of purpose in life, offering comfort and solace in the otherwise bleak reality of the world and the malaise of a potentially meaningless existence. This same sense of purpose can be experienced by the man who has fantasies of goddess worship in the fleeting moments of sexual arousal where he contemplates these images in his mind.
Through his devotion to the goddess and his worship of her, the man can come to feel, in his sexual fantasies, that his whole life revolves around her. He senses that his life, before he devoted himself to the goddess, was meaningless and that he lived it without purpose. After finding his goddess, he feels like he finally has something to live for—or someone to live for, to be precise.
The man fantasizes about waking up every day with the sole purpose of serving his goddess and making her life better. As such, these fantasies intertwine with those of male servility. Everything the man does in his life, he does it for his goddess. Most notably, he goes to work every day so that he makes money that he can spend on her, in which case the fantasies incorporate the financial domination kink.
The goddess becomes the man’s priority. She is the most important person in his life, and the only woman he can ever be interested in, even if he knows he might never have sex with her. His commitment to her is unconditional and he worships her simply because she exists. In this, he has the exact attitude and rationale of actual religious worshipers with their deities.
These feelings of self-effacement and abnegation can be experienced as a beautiful pain in the imagination of the man who fantasizes about goddess worship. The full subservience of his life to his goddess is not only a consequence of his newly found sense of purpose, but it is also an act of sacrifice to prove his devotion.
Sacrifice
Religious worshipers often resort to acts of sacrifice to prove their loyalty and faithfulness to their deity, to atone for their sins, or simply to express their gratitude. The renunciation of pleasures, the prioritization of religious duties over worldly matters, and the forsaking of material things are all examples of acts of sacrifice in religious worship, with the most extreme form being, of course, the sacrifice of one’s life.
The element of sacrifice can be present in many forms in sexual fantasies of goddess worship. Here, I distinguish the tests of devotion that were presented previously from the acts of sacrifice treated here. The former deals with circumstances imposed by the goddess herself; the latter, with actions volunteered by the worshiper.
In some fantasies, the man’s sacrifice concerns his sexual life. He surrenders his sexuality to the goddess, vowing to fantasize about her and her only. No woman shall be the object of his erotic fancy other than the goddess he worships. In some cases, this sacrifice reaches the height of the man’s pledge to remain celibate for the rest of his life for the sake of the goddess. He takes an oath to refrain from pursuing or dating other women, dedicating himself instead to the goddess whom he worships and serves.
These fantasies can become colored with aspects of cuckolding if the goddess entertains a sexual relationship with another man while the worshiper pledges his full allegiance to her in his vow of celibacy. The worshiper knows full well that he will never get to experience the goddess sexually, yet another man—a more worthy man—gets to have that experience, hence the cuckolding aspect.
The man can also sacrifice his resources to the goddess. Since resources are financial in today’s world, this almost always translates to transferring money to the goddess or bestowing gifts on her as a form of tribute. As such, these fantasies incorporate the financial domination kink. This form of financial sacrifice can range from punctual monetary transactions and gifts bought for the goddess to the complete surrender of the man’s finances to the woman as an extreme show of devotion.
In some more extreme fantasies, the man can eroticize the idea of giving up his life for the sake of the goddess. He imagines the bliss in the ultimate sacrifice of offering the most precious thing he has. He basks in awe of the perfection of the goddess and finds her worthy of his death, feeling that his sacrifice will serve a higher purpose. These fantasies can involve elaborate scenes of rituals in preparation for the actual sacrifice, and it is in the imagination of these scenes that erotic excitement is found.
Ecstasy
The experience of worship can sometimes bring an overwhelming sense of joy to the worshiper. These fleeting moments of religious ecstasy are hard to induce. They are akin to a state of euphoria in which the worshiper feels a sense of mystical transcendence, a unique personal experience that directly links him with his deity.
In such a profound cathartic state, his feelings of devotion reach their zenith. Religious ecstasy is therefore the pinnacle of the human religious experience. The worshiper in ecstasy can experience various physiological responses as a result of his psychological experience. Most notably, his feelings of rapture can bring him to tears.
Something akin to religious ecstasy can be experienced by the man who has sexual fantasies of goddess worship. The following account is a curious demonstration of this. A man was fascinated by an online model who created content that catered to foot worship. This man idealized the woman and her feet. Watching her content brought him a lot of sexual pleasure. On one particular occasion, while he was watching and masturbating to a video made by the woman, he progressively experienced a feeling of pseudo-ecstasy.
The man became hyper-focused on the spectacle of the woman’s feet. He felt they were perfect and reveled in watching them on his screen. Guided by the woman’s voice in the video, he found her more beautiful than he had ever before. He felt she was pure and perfect, a truly divine creature. He wondered what it would be like to worship her in reality, to devote his life to her, to maintain a strictly platonic relationship with her and to worship her feet occasionally. He felt that if such a dream were to become true, it would bring him the most satisfaction he could ever hope to feel in this life.
As this state of mind progressed in crescendo with the man’s sexual arousal, he felt a sense of euphoria come over him. Tears started to flow down his cheeks. He smiled “like an idiot” at the screen and brought his ecstasy to its paroxysm when he climaxed. I was told by this man that he was not a particularly emotional person and that this experience was the only time his fantasies of goddess worship reached such an intensity.
This concludes a survey of the kinks of female worship. If you think something is missing from this overview, leave a comment and share your thoughts. You can also message me on Substack or on Reddit if you wish to remain anonymous and discuss privately.
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The line art in this essay’s card is by Georgian artist Dorian Chelios.
Here, I use the word “vagina” in the general sense that includes the entirety of the external genitalia, not just the canal. It is to the vagina in this sense that the worship is directed in these fantasies.