A survey of male submissive kinks: #5 Feminization of the man

The category that deals with sexual fantasies of pegging, cum-eating, sissy, forced feminization, slut training, etc., and how they intertwine with other kinks.

Aug 06, 2024

This is part of a series of essays that collectively survey male submissive kinks. Find the Table of contents here.

Women have an evolved a sexual psychology that selects for masculine men. For the most part, signs or displays of femininity in a man drive women to lose attraction to him. In the competition among men, it is an insult to be attributed anything effeminate that degrades one’s masculinity. Men have therefore sought to avoid in all domains the behaviors which are more appropriately feminine, be it in their way of dress, their comportment, their way of speaking, or their general behavior with others.

Granted, what falls in the realm of feminine behavior depends on the culture of the age. Nonetheless, the previous observation holds true when the culture is taken into account. Thus, in the pursuit of a successful reproductive strategy, it is in a man’s interest to cultivate his masculinity to the utmost and to eliminate all traces of femininity that might hurt his chances of propagating his genes.

Yet there are men who have kinks of feminization. They fantasize about having their masculinity degraded and being encouraged or forced to become more feminine or to perform acts which, in the typical course of heterosexual relationships, are wholly within the repertoire of women.

This category of kinks deals with the anal penetration of the man, referred to as pegging when a woman performs it; cum-eating instructions, in which a man is instructed to ingest his own semen after ejaculating; and the sissy kink, which more directly deals with the feminization of the man through various devices such as cross-dressing and feminine training.

Pegging

The male anus is an erogenous zone. The prostate, a small gland the size of a walnut positioned in front of the rectum, is highly sensitive to stimulation. The nerve endings of the prostate can produce sexual pleasure. This stimulation can be powerful enough to lead to orgasm in the complete absence of any stimulation of the penis. Erogenous nerve endings also exist in the area around the anus and they can produce sexual pleasure by external stimulation.

Many men enjoy prostate stimulation during masturbation and this form of anal play need not be accompanied with any submissive sexual fantasies. Nonetheless, some men have submissive fantasies that involve their anus which, in addition to the physiological sexual pleasure obtained by the direct stimulation of the nerve endings in the area, confer the more psychological pleasure of assuming the submissive position of being penetrated.

These men derive pleasure from being encouraged or forced to penetrate their anus with their fingers or with toys or with other foreign objects. In the normal course of heterosexual sex, it is the role of the woman to be penetrated in her vagina by the man’s penis. Therefore, by penetrating his own anus, the man derives pleasure from adopting a feminine sexual behavior which is degrading to his masculinity.

When this penetration is performed on the man by a woman, the act is called “pegging” and the man is said to be “pegged” by the woman. This is typically done with the use of a “strap-on” dildo which is a harness the woman wears around her waist that secures a dildo in her crotch in the position of a penis.

Pegging need not only be done with a dildo. In some fantasies that also involve aspects of worshiping the woman, the man’s anus can penetrated by the pointed heel of the woman’s shoes. In even more extreme fantasies, the woman can penetrate the anus with her whole fist or foot.

Some men fantasize about being verbally humiliated during the act of pegging. In this context, the degrading names correspond to the nature of this submissive kink, which is the feminization of the man. As such, the woman can call the man a slut, a whore, a bitch, or any other degrading name that conveys female promiscuity.

In addition to anal penetration, the woman can make the man perform oral sex on her strap-on dildo. A particularly humiliating scenario is the so-called “ass-to-mouth”, where the submissive is made to take the dildo in his mouth right after it has been in his anus. The humiliation obviously resides in the unsanitary nature of the practice.

Curiously, some men specifically fantasize about women with real penises. These mythical women are imagined to be conventionally attractive with feminine body proportions. They do not differ from the real women that men fantasize about save for possessing a penis, which is typically imagined to be large. The presence of a scrotum is not necessary on these women’s bodies. They can also be imagined to have intact female genitalia alongside the penis.

These imaginary hermaphrodites are sometimes known as “futa”, from the Japanese word “futanari” (which means to be of two kinds). This Japanese word has come to denote a pornographic genre featuring the aforementioned hermaphrodites. Some men with the feminization kink fantasize about being sexually submissive to futas, performing oral sex on them and being on the receiving end of anal intercourse with them.

Because these women do not exist in real life with the bodies thought of in the imagination, some men fantasize about fulfilling their feminization kinks with the closest thing there is: transgender women, often called “she-males” in pornography.1

Sissies and femboys

Men with the feminization kink can fantasize about the general idea of being turned into a woman, not just in sexual acts but also in appearance and behavior. When a man is transformed in one way or another into a female, he is typically known as a “sissy”, a modern derogatory term for an effeminate man. The process of feminization is sometimes called “sissification”.

More recently, the term “femboy” (from feminine boy) has spread on the internet to denote men who like to dress and act in feminine ways. Some men with the feminization kink identify more with the femboy terminology than with the sissy one, but no matter the terms used, the fantasies remain the same.

Men with the feminization kink can be sexually aroused to a great extent by the mere thought of themselves as women, possessing female bodies with breasts and female genitalia, wearing women’s clothes and adopting a female appearance with wigs and makeup, and behaving in ways that are stereotypically female in the way they talk, walk, act, gesture, and engage in masturbation and sexual activities.

Feminization fantasies come in two flavors. In the first, the man is encouraged by the woman to act on his own inhibited desire of being feminized. In this case, the woman is there to guide the man and to positively encourage him in the process. In the second case, the man is forced by a malevolent woman to be feminized against his will. The man is unable to resist the woman and he is forced to yield to the feminization process.

Some fantasies involve unrealistic scenarios of actual gender transformation where the man’s body is transformed into a woman’s by way of magic or some imagined scientific advance. Other fantasies involve the more realistic process of adopting a feminine appearance and comportment. In these, for example, the act of shaving the man’s facial hair and removing his body hair accentuates the idea of his body becoming feminine by having a smoother skin.

Crossdressing fantasies involve ridding the man of his masculine clothes and donning women’s outfits. The replacement of undergarments, from male boxers to female panties, can play a significant role in the feminization process. The more feminine the new clothes, the more sexually arousing the experience is.

Men with the feminization kink will typically fantasize about wearing sexually suggestive women’s clothing and high-heeled shoes, wishing to become a very sexy woman that turns heads and attracts others easily. Very often, these men go the length of acquiring female articles of clothing and wearing them to enhance their arousal during masturbation.

In the adoption of a female sexual behavior, an element that can cause great arousal is the sound the man makes in response to sexual pleasure. He can be encouraged while masturbating to moan like a woman who is being penetrated, making his voice higher in pitch and emulating the exaggerated stereotypical expressions of pleasure of a promiscuous female, like sticking the tongue out for example.

Instruction and discipline

A powerful element in the imagination of men with fantasies of feminization is the guidance and instruction of the woman in the gender transformation process. Such a role for the woman includes applying makeup on the man and telling him he would look sexy in female clothes.

These scenarios can cause great sexual arousal in the imagination of the man. Similarly, the woman can encourage him to take part in feminine activities with her such as going shopping or having a sleepover or reading women’s magazines. All of these activities and others can be part of the feminization process.

Some men fantasize about entering academies or schools that cater to gender transformation or being abducted into mysterious chateaus. In these institutions that are exclusively run by powerful attractive women, the man fantasizes about being taught female manners and behavior and about gradually being turned female by following strict programs and instruction. Corporal punishment can be part of the course as a measure of discipline and chastisement.

Sexual training

As part of the gender transformation, the woman can train the man to let go of his masculine sexual behavior and adopt a more feminine sexuality. The fantasies of some men with the feminization kink are exclusively heterosexual and the new feminine behavior is imagined to be completely with a woman. Other men, however, fantasize about being instructed to perform sexual acts with other men, which are more appropriately fitting for the heterosexual woman the man wishes to become.

In the latter case, the feminization kink intertwines with the kinks of being forced or encouraged to be homosexual or bisexual. Although there can be a lot of overlap, the latter category will be treated in a separate entry because it need not have the feminization element.

When the feminization kink overlaps with that of homosexual or bisexual acts, the man can fantasize about being taught how to please men in bed. For example, he can be trained by the woman on how to give oral sex to a man by practicing on a dildo. He can also be trained on how to be a good receiving partner in anal sex by practicing on himself or by being pegged by the woman.

The man can further fantasize about being made the woman’s sissy partner in sexual activities with another man. In such threesome scenarios, the feminized man emulates the woman’s sexual behavior while they seek to sexually please the man together. The feminized man can further be encouraged to have sex with men on his own initiative under the guidance of the woman.

All of these acts can be part of the man’s sexual training in his journey of feminization. This process is often imagined to turn the man into a promiscuous woman, a slut as it were. As part of the training, some men fantasize about being turned into sexually insatiable females who constantly desire to give oral sex and to be the receiving partner of intercourse.

Relationship to other kinks

The feminization kink can intertwine with the rejection kink if the woman rejects the man’s sexual interest in her because she does not think he is man enough for her taste. Due to his lack of masculine attributes, the man is encouraged or forced by the woman to stop trying to live up to an impossible ideal—that of masculinity—and to simply give in to the idea of feminization by adopting the much easier role of being a sissy.

In situations where the man is friendzoned by the woman, she can come to think of him as one of her girlfriends due to the platonic nature of their interactions. This can play into the feminization kink where the man is made to do female activities with the woman.

When the feminization takes place in the context of a relationship or a marriage, it can intertwine with the cuckolding kink if the man is degraded from the position of boyfriend or husband to that of girlfriend. The woman can take on other sexual partners and tell the man about her sexual exploits in the same manner she would gossip about it with her girlfriends. Needless to say, the man is denied sex with his partner in this context.

The feminization kink can intertwine with that of small penis humiliation by making the small penis part of the rationale for feminization. Since the man’s penis is too small, he cannot be considered a man. The penis is practically useless in pleasing any woman due to its size. Thus, the man might as well transform into a woman. That is how rationale usually goes in this case.

In this context, the penis can be referred to as a clitoris, or “clitty” for short, and the man can be encouraged to masturbate in the manner of a woman, by rubbing the small penis in the way a woman would rub her clitoris while touching herself.

The feminization kink can also intertwine with chastity. By locking the penis away in a cage, the man is prevented from touching himself in a masculine way and he is instead encouraged to learn to derive pleasure from feminine sexual behaviors, such as being on the receiving end of anal penetration and learning to orgasm from the stimulation of his prostate, emulating the typical role of the woman in sexual intercourse.

Preventing the man from having an orgasm by locking his penis in chastity can play into his sexual training. By forbidding him from climaxing, the feminized man is kept in a constant state of sexual arousal which helps in the process of turning him into an unsated promiscuous woman.

Cum-eating

When the woman takes control of the man’s sexual pleasure, she can instruct him to masturbate in more feminine ways and to perform acts which are degrading to his masculinity. Apart from instructing the man to stimulate himself anally or to touch himself like a woman or to moan like one, he can also be instructed to ingest his own semen after he ejaculates from masturbation. This act is called “cum-eating”.

By being encouraged or forced to eat his own emissions, the man adopts the position of a woman who would swallow her male partner’s semen after oral sex. More generally, the man can be aroused by fantasies of being covered in cum in the manner of a promiscuous woman, and he can accomplish this by ejaculating on his own body.

In particular, the man can be encouraged to ejaculate on his own face by positioning himself in such a way that the semen will land there. This emulates the role of a woman getting a “facial” when a man ejaculates all over her face. Both the ingestion of his own semen and the ejaculation on his own face and body are humiliating practices for the man that serve to degrade his masculinity by forcing him to emulate female sexual behaviors.

Hypnosis

Some men fantasize about having their brain reprogrammed in the feminization process. In this case, the feminization kink intertwines with aspects of manipulation. For example, some men like watching purported hypnotic videos that feature visual imagery and mantras that play into the fantasy of being brainwashed or having the man’s brain reprogrammed to be more feminine.

There is an entire category of pornographic videos that are made in this fashion, referred to as “hypnosissy” (from hypnosis and sissy). These videos usually feature pornographic scenes of women having sex with men, with overlayed vocals and text that encourage the man to think of himself in the role of the women in the videos. Imagined subliminal cues, mantras, and visual and auditory special effects can all play into the purported hypnotic nature of these videos and their imagined effects of reprogramming the viewer’s brain.

Mental manipulation can be an important part of the sexual training of the feminized man, with the goal of deconditioning him from his masculine sexual behavior and conditioning him to prefer more feminine ways of sexual expression.

Removal of genitalia

Feminization kinks also intertwine with aspects of corporal punishment, especially if the punishments are inflicted in the course of the man’s instruction into becoming female. Aside from this, some men also eroticize the idea of emasculation or castration or both. Emasculation is the act of cutting off the penis and the testicles; castration only involves the removal of the testicles.

The loss of the man’s genitalia is the ultimate step in the feminization process, an irreversible procedure from which there is no going back. Such a step can be imagined, for example, to be performed by the woman with the help of scissors against the man’s will as he is physically restrained and unable to resist.

Alternatively, some feminization fantasies revolve around the idea of being tricked or forced into undergoing a sex change operation, either through a medical error or as a result of the machinations of an evil woman. The man, who lies helpless in the hospital bed, can do nothing to stop the impending irreversible medical procedure.

In fantasies of cutting off the man’s genitalia, the pleasure is derived from the anticipation of the act. Thus, the woman can talk about how she will go about doing it and how the man will be unable to stop her. She can also talk about the aftermath of the event and the new life the man will be forced to assume as a woman in consequence.

Autogynephilia

In the literature on the psychology of sex, the sexual arousal of a man at the idea of imagining himself to be a woman is called autogynephilia.2 These sexual fantasies need not be submissive. Indeed, in some men, sexual arousal at the idea of being a woman is not accompanied with any elements of humiliation or coercion.

In other men, however, submission, humiliation, and coercion are part and parcel of their autogynephilic fantasies. These are the fantasies discussed in this article and they form only a subset of autogynephilia. Nevertheless, from the earliest works of Magnus Hirschfeld3 to the modern-day scholarly work of Anne A. Lawrence4, a strong correlation between autogynephilia and submissive sexual fantasies was always observed.

It could be that submissive feminization kinks (as the sexual arousal of a man at the idea of being encouraged or coerced into feminization for purposes of humiliation and degradation of his masculinity) is the coincidence of two different phenomena: autogynephilia properly speaking, and whatever motive lies at the heart of submissive kinks in men. Magnus Hirschfeld thought as much.

Alternatively, it could be that all autogynephilia is ultimately the expression of a submissive kink, differing only in how manifest the submissive motive is in different individuals. If this is the case, it means that in some people, the submissive motive is manifest: they consciously grasp the submissive nature of their feminization kinks. In others, however, the submissive motive might remain hidden, unconscious to the individual who experiences the kink. This is something Krafft-Ebing called “latent masochism” when discussing certain sexual interests.5

This concludes a survey of the kinks involved in the category of feminization of the man. If you think something is missing from this overview, leave a comment and share your thoughts. You can also message me on Substack or on Reddit if you wish to remain anonymous and discuss privately.

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The line art in this essay’s card is by Georgian artist Dorian Chelios.

The sexual attraction to she-males is called gynandromorphophilia in the literature. A series of three papers on gynandromorphophiles by lead author Kevin J. Hsu found a strong association between sexual attraction to she-males and sexual fantasies of feminization. See especially Hsu, Kevin J., et al. (2017). Sexual arousal patterns of autogynephilic male cross-dressers. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(1), 247–253.

The term “autogynephilia” was coined by psychologist Ray Blanchard. Note that the term has two meanings. The first meaning describes the sexual fantasies that some men have at imagining themselves to be women. The second meaning is Blanchard’s proposed typology of transsexuals. Briefly explained, he observed that there were two types of male-to-female transsexuals. The first were those who were feminine as boys and grew up to be attracted to men—to straight men, to be precise. They had no erotic response at the idea of being a woman. He called this first type “homosexual” transsexuals. The second type were transsexuals who had masculine boyhoods but discovered in their adolescence that they were sexually aroused by the idea of being a woman, usually through cross-dressing. They were typically attracted to women. He called this second type “autogynephilic” transsexuals. While no one disputes the existence of autogynephilia as a kink (the first meaning of the word), some dispute the proposed link between gender dysphoria and autogynephilia in the so-called autogynephilic transsexuals (the second meaning of the word, which posits that autogynephilia drives the gender dysphoria in this type of transsexuals). For more on autogynephilia, consult the scholarly works of Ray Blanchard, Anne A. Lawrence, and J. Michael Bailey. In particular, see Lawrence, Anne A. (2012). Men trapped in men's bodies: Narratives of autogynephilic transsexualism. Springer Science & Business Media.

Hirschfeld, Magnus. (1910). Die Transvestiten: eine Untersuchung über den erotischen Verkleidungstrieb. Alfred Pulvermacher & Co.

Lawrence 2012, op. cit. pp. 152–155.

Krafft-Ebing, Richard von. (1965). Psychopathia Sexualis. Translated from the twelfth German edition by Franklin S. Klaf. Stein and Day. (Originally published in 1886.) The concept of latent masochism is discussed in several places in the text, though not specifically in relation to sexual fantasies of feminization.