Historical cases of masochism: Sexual rejection
Reports of submissive sexual fantasies in men from the early literature on human sexual psychology. In this entry, a case of a man with the rejection kink, reported by a certain Dr. Pascal.
If you are curious about men’s submissive sexual fantasies, it will not take you long before you discover that there are men who fantasize about being denied sexual access to women. This idea of denial can find expression in a diverse repertoire of scenarios that stimulate the erotic mind of the masochist.
For some men, the fantasy of being rejected is particularly enticing. The thought of expressing interest in an attractive woman, confessing feelings for her, or making a sexual advance toward her, only to be flatly rejected in return, is experienced as an intense erotic humiliation, the man’s failure to be considered an option by the woman he desires.
In the early literature on human sexual psychology from the 19th century, there is a case of a gentleman who very definitely had a rejection kink, a case that was quoted in many volumes on sexual perversions, including the most famous of them all, Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis.1 The original case report is due to a certain Dr. Pascal, who unfortunately remains unidentifiable today.
To satisfy his rejection kink, the gentleman in question paid a woman—most likely a prostitute—to enact a scene that catered to his peculiar sexual interest. He commissioned this sort of roleplay on a regular basis, so it is safe to deduce that he was fond of the theatrical performance, evidently for the sexual satisfaction it brought him.
The actress had to pretend to be a marquise while he cast himself in the role of a count. He would visit her in her house and assume an arrogant attitude as soon as he greeted her. As the conversation progressed, he would eventually confess his attraction toward her, taking advantage of the fact they were alone. When this confession was made, the woman had to be offended at the man’s audacity, but her offense did not deter him from persisting in his attempt to secure a sexual conquest.
The scene reached culmination when the man inevitably made an overt sexual advance toward the lady, asking to kiss her on the shoulder. At this, she had to act out an angry scene where she called on a servant to assist her in handling the faux-pas. This servant readily appeared in the salon at the lady’s call. He was another actor briefed beforehand on the role he had to play in the staged act.
In her affected outrage, the lady ordered the servant to handle the insolent guest. The actor duly obliged by kicking the pseudo-count out of the house, all to the latter’s full satisfaction. Both actors were reportedly well remunerated for their participation in the scene’s enactment, and the exercise was regularly repeated.
A gentleman in Paris was accustomed to call on certain evenings at a house where a woman, the owner, acceded to his peculiar desire. He entered the salon in full dress, and she, likewise in evening toilette, had to receive him with a very haughty manner. He addressed her as “Marquise,” and she had to call him “dear Count.” Then he spoke of his good fortune in finding her alone, of his love for her, and of a lover’s interview. At this the lady had to feel insulted. The pseudo-count grew bolder and bolder, and asked the pseudo-marquise for a kiss on her shoulder. “There is an angry scene; the bell is rung; a servant, prepared for the occasion, appears, and throws the count out of the house. He departs well satisfied, and pays the actors in the farce handsomely.”2
This gentleman from the 19th century was animated by the same sexual urges that drive the men of today who find erotic stimulation in the idea of being rejected by attractive women. That gentleman hired an actress and cast her in the role of marquise to enact the scene of his sexual rejection. Today, men hire pornographic actresses on the internet to film point-of-view scenes in which they reject the viewer.
In assuming an arrogant attitude and persisting in his bold advances, the gentleman in Paris was probably filling his imagination with the image of himself as a confident and desirable man, for the purpose of having this pompous image be violently shattered when the marquise rejected his proposition and ordered him thrown out of the house. This reversal was, in all likelihood, the climactic moment for him—the moment his sexual arousal reached its peak.
Men today who have rejection fantasies also like to have the image of themselves as desirable mates be shattered by the women who reject them. They like to be told that they are not real men, that they will never be considered viable mates, that they do not deserve to have sex with women, and similar invective.
Granted, men today do not cast women in the role of marquises in their fantasies of rejection. These superficial details of sexual fantasies change with cultural norms. Today, men are more likely to fantasize about women in the roles of bratty gym-goer or hot coworker or whichever female archetype is deemed sexy in the prevailing cultural representations. If that gentleman in Paris had been alive today, he too would have fantasized about the current trendy archetypes.
Although the superficial details of masochistic fantasies are shaped by cultural norms and regional customs, the immutable elements at the heart of the fantasies—the ideas that form the sources of erotic stimulation—have persisted across time and place ever since they were first studied and reported in the early literature on human sexual psychology. The idea of being rejected by a desired woman is one those immutable elements of men’s masochism.
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Case number 65 in Krafft-Ebing, Richard von. (1965). Psychopathia Sexualis. Translated by Franklin S. Klaf from the twelfth German edition. Stein and Day. (Originally published in 1886.)
Ibid., p. 106.
Interesting fantasy