Male Masochism: Beta male fantasies
Learn about the psychology of men’s submissive kinks in short digestible pieces. In this entry, men’s sexual fantasies of being beta males instead of alpha males.
In men’s submissive sexual fantasies, there exist many characterizations which capture the same idea of failing to meet the woman’s mate selection criteria. Each of these characterizations carries its own nuance. A prominent one is the “beta male”, which exists in a duality with the “alpha male”.
The terminology of “alpha” and “beta” comes from the zoological study of dominance hierarchies in animals. The males, competing for limited access to resources and mates, establish a pecking order wherein the betas adopt a submissive attitude toward the alphas, who achieve disproportionately greater reproductive success with the females of the species.
This terminology has become popular on the internet in recent times in discussions on dating and relationships. It has also found its way into the submissive sexual fantasies of men. The alpha males—or alphas, for short—represent the men that women really desire, the men who excite them sexually, the men they want to have sex with. The beta males—or betas, for short—represent the rest of the male population: the men who lack the traits and attributes that women seek in partners. Cast in this binary frame, the alphas are a minority and the betas are the vast majority of men, by virtue of natural selection.
The beta male characterization can be a potent erotic stimulant, as it evokes the substrate of evolution, a powerful force beyond the control of the mere mortal. To be an alpha or a beta is not imagined to be up to every man; it is a deterministic outcome decided by genes. Whatever the beta male tries to do to improve his condition, he ultimately cannot escape his fate. Thus, he is left no other choice but to accept it and to embrace his inferior status in the world.
Some beta male fantasies play on this aspect of determinism. The masochist may fantasize about the ease with which women are able to identify him as a beta male, simply by looking at him or briefly interacting with him, and no matter how hard he may try to conceal the signals that alert them to his true nature. He may even be ridiculed for making efforts to portray himself falsely as an alpha male, efforts which ultimately prove ineffectual. The idea that any woman can instantly recognize his beta status is a powerful expression of the masochistic theme of his denial of access to their sexuality.
In the masochist’s erotic trains of thought, the beta male is by nature unable to live up to the high standards that women impose on men, standards which only alphas can meet. He is doomed in consequence to live as a second-class citizen in the realm of sexual relations, denied the privilege of experiencing women’s sexuality, a privilege only alpha males enjoy. The beta male desires women without reciprocity and, in time, may come to view his role in society and life in general as one of subservience to women rather than romantic pursuit and sexual conquest. This imagined apartheid-like system of sexual dynamics is the crux of beta male fantasies.
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Further reading
Why are some men aroused by the idea of being beta males? Because these fantasies primarily express the theme of the man’s failure to obtain sexual access to women. This basic theme is one of several sources of erotic stimulation in men’s masochism. Read more about it below. 👇
We live in the age of the beta male
I like how deep you go into the psychology of kinks