Male Masochism: Simping fantasies
Learn about the psychology of men’s submissive kinks in short digestible pieces. In this entry, men’s sexual fantasies of being simps.
In internet terminology, a “simp” is a man who is excessively nice in pursuing a woman who is not interested in him. He showers her with attention and is at her beck and call in the hope of ultimately securing a romantic or sexual relationship. The woman, however, enjoys these benefits without ever intending to reciprocate. The simp’s excessive sympathetic behavior is called “simping”, and the man is said to “simp” for the woman.
Women recognize simping behavior in men, and it is a turnoff for most. Some cease communication when they realize that a man is simping for them, while others enjoy the benefits and may even actively cultivate such one-sided relationships.
While “simp” is a derogatory word used on the internet to ridicule men who engage in such behavior on social media, the character of the simp, much like that of the beta male, has become a fixture of male masochistic fantasies. The masochist can find erotic delight in imagining scenarios where, either purposely or by happenstance, he becomes a simp, hopelessly pursuing a woman who he knows will never reciprocate his interest.
In some of these scenarios, the woman’s rejection is explicit. She makes it clear to the man that he has no chance with her. Yet he continues simping in desperation. In other scenarios, the rejection remains implicit. The woman leads the man on, takes advantage of all the material benefits she derives from his one-sided interest, and makes him believe that maybe, just maybe, one day she will give in to his advances. All the while, she does not have the intention of ever getting romantically or sexually involved with him.
The masochist derives erotic pleasure from shooting himself in the foot by engaging in behavior that sabotages the chances that the woman will develop a mutual interest in him. He simps for her by acting in an overly sympathetic way, giving her too many compliments, putting her on a pedestal, being excessively available, devoting too much time and attention to her, and giving her gifts.
The simping behavior makes the woman feel like the man is wrapped around her finger. She can rely on him for anything and always count on the benefits he provides, without ever needing to reciprocate by giving him access to her sexuality, as would be the case in conventional heterosexual mating. The woman need not worry about losing the simp’s interest, as it is unconditional. As for the masochist, the role of simp allows him to experience the humiliation of the man who finds himself in the undignified position of continuing in the hopeless pursuit of a woman who does not want him.
The simping masochist may find a beautiful agony in accepting that being a simp is his proper place in the world. In trying to date women and to have sex with them, he inadvertently only makes them uncomfortable, as they do not want him. He understands that he should not pursue something not meant for him, and that the privilege of dating women and sleeping with them is exclusively reserved for men who are more adequate.
In his aroused state, the masochist may imagine himself ceasing his efforts to pursue women, resigning himself instead to making their lives better by adding to them without expecting anything sexual in return. By renouncing conventional expectations, he learns to derive pleasure from the unilateral acts of service he bestows on the object of his affection, an object he can only experience as a simp, never as a romantic or sexual partner.
In the weak position he finds himself in, the simp naturally stands to be taken advantage of. Such exploitation is the subject of some simping fantasies in which the woman actively seeks to extract as many benefits as she can from her devotee. When these benefits are material, it can result in the simp’s financial domination, which is a powerful expression of devotion in the erotic imagination of some masochists.
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Further reading
Why are some men aroused by the idea of being simps for women? Because these fantasies primarily express the theme of the man’s failure to obtain sexual access to women. This basic theme is one of several sources of erotic stimulation in men’s masochism. Read more about it below. 👇
This make me wonder how many of those overly nice guys in my life who were interested in me were secretly getting off on it... 😐
This capture well the simping kink