Male Masochism: Rejection fantasies
Learn about the psychology of men’s submissive kinks in short digestible pieces. In this entry, men’s sexual fantasies of being rejected by women.
Fantasies where a woman directly rejects a man’s interest in her express the masochistic theme of being denied sexual access to women. This may happen in situations where the man asks the woman out on a date, confesses his romantic feelings for her, or makes an overt sexual advance. In whichever way the man expresses his sexual interest in a woman, his interest is always met with rejection in these fantasies, thus foiling his efforts at obtaining access to the woman’s sexuality.
In the erotic imagination of the men who fantasize about being rejected, there is a rich diversity of forms in which the rejection is dealt depending on the attitude that the woman takes. Some scenarios simulate realistic situations where the woman attempts to reject the man as courteously as possible, politely explaining that she does not reciprocate his feelings or see him in the same way he sees her. There is a natural discomfort and awkwardness in these situations as the woman tries her best not to hurt the man’s feelings.
In other scenarios, the woman disregards the man’s advance, laughing it off as a joke or brushing it off as a ridiculous proposition that does not merit serious consideration, as if the possibility of being with him were inconceivable to her mind. These situations can have a touch of manipulation, as something akin to gaslighting may be incorporated in the woman’s quick dismissal of the man’s feelings.
In yet other scenarios, all pretenses are dropped and the rejection is delivered with shocking honesty. The woman makes no efforts to conceal the true reasons that lie behind her rejection of the man. She communicates this without the considerations that usually make women prefer indirect modes of turning a man down over such a straightforward rejection.
In this brutal honesty, the man finds material for his verbal humiliation, which he duly takes without protest. The woman may tell him that she is out of his league, that he has no chance with her, and that she would never consider him as a romantic or a sexual option. In short, he simply does not rise to her standards in men.
On the extreme end of the continuum, there are fantasies in which the man triggers the woman’s anger as she takes offense at his audacity to make an advance toward her. She might even find genuine disgust in the mere idea of being with him. Besides the extreme verbal humiliation which can ensue to castigate the man, the woman’s anger can also lead to scenarios of physical punishment for the man’s transgression, which opens the door to the exploration of other masochistic themes.
Fantasies of rejection can play on the upset of expectations. The higher the man’s expectations, the more crushing the rejection, and the more arousing the situation is in consequence. The disappointment is greatest in scenarios where the man has great romantic investment in the woman, such as when he has a crush on her or is already in love with her.
There is always a rationale behind the rejection. Any shortcoming in women's preferences in men can become part of this rationale for turning the man down. This may be based on physical traits and attributes as well as on the judgment of the man's personality as a whole.
For instance, the man may be deemed too short, too fat, or too scrawny for the woman’s taste. He may also be too old to be considered a potential mate. The failure to meet the woman’s standards can also extend to the man’s sexual ability if he is deemed inadequate to satisfy the woman in bed. In most cases of sexual inadequacy, the woman’s judgment stems from the man’s penis size, which she finds too small. The man’s ethnicity may also be grounds for his rejection, whether it be based on his race, his religion, or the cultural group he belongs to.
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Further reading
Why are some men aroused by the idea of being rejected by women? Because these fantasies primarily express the theme of the man’s failure to obtain sexual access to women. This basic theme is one of several sources of erotic stimulation in men’s masochism. Read more about it below. 👇
Very good description of what is possible with rejection… being denied can be very sexual when the woman knows how the man functions
Such a thorough explanation of what makes a beta male tick and insight into what a Woman thinks of men