Erotic fantasies of feminization, misgendering, and detransitioning in FtMs: Case reports (Part 1)
The first case reports of erotic fantasies of feminization, misgendering, and detransitioning in natal females who identify as male, fantasies that have parallels with autogynephilia in natal males.
➤ Introduction
Some natal men are sexually aroused by the idea of wearing women’s clothes, adopting feminine behavior, acting in stereotypically female ways, performing female-typical sexual acts, or simply being women.
This paraphilia was for a long time known as “transvestism”—the name given to it by Magnus Hirschfeld,1 the German physician who first studied it in the early 20th century—but it is better known today as “autogynephilia”, a more suitable coinage introduced in 1989 by the Canadian psychologist Ray Blanchard.2 Whereas the Latin construction only alluded to the paraphilia’s most frequent expression in cross-dressing, the Greek construction encapsulated the central motif of the paraphilia: the love of oneself as a woman.
Some autogynephilic men also have gender dysphoria, with varying degrees of desire to transition from male to female. The link between autogynephilia and gender dysphoria remains the subject of heated scholarly debate, but it should be kept in mind that not all autogynephilic men are dysphoric.
In recent years, it has become apparent that some female-to-male (FtM) transgender individuals—that is to say, natal females who identify as male—are also sexually aroused by the idea of being women, in conflict with the male gender identity they hold dear. Some of these individuals are also aroused by the idea of being purposely misgendered—that is to say, referred to as female instead of male—and some are even aroused by the idea of detransitioning—that is to say, stopping and reversing any gender-affirming care they may have received.
Based on anecdotal evidence, these sexual fantasies of feminization, misgendering, and detransitioning appear to be common in FtM transgender individuals. In a certain respect, they resemble typical heterosexual female fantasies in terms of their content. In another respect, however, they also resemble the fantasies of autogynephilic men, because of the struggle of FtM individuals to reconcile them with the professed male gender identity.
These peculiar phenomena of sexual psychology in FtM transgender individuals have not yet been described in the literature, although many anecdotal accounts and much pornographic material of them exist online. In this series, I present the first published case reports of these sexual phenomena.
📋 Methods
These case reports are from semi-structured interviews conducted online with individuals who are natal females, who identify—or have identified for a substantial period of time in the past—as male, and who have sexual fantasies of feminization, misgendering, or detransitioning.
The subjects were recruited in online FtM transgender communities. They gave informed consent to be interviewed and to have their accounts published anonymously. The subjects are given fictitious names in these reports to preserve their anonymity, and the pronouns I use to refer to them are in accordance with their current professed gender identity.
📝 Case report #1 — Max
Max (fictitious name) is a 19-year-old white natal female from the United States who identifies as male. He reports having his first feelings of being transgender as early as age 13. He started his social transition at 16 and has been taking testosterone for two months prior to the interview. He is sexually attracted to both men and women and is currently in a long-distance relationship with a male partner.
Max reports that testosterone treatment has given him more energy, a larger appetite, a higher libido, and a more stable mood. He has noticed hair growth on his legs, muscle growth, and a slight deepening of the voice. He takes 0.5 ml intramuscularly every two weeks, but he does not know the concentration of the preparation.
Max discovered he had fantasies of being feminized three days prior to giving this account. He reports discovering, during an intimate episode with his partner, that the idea of being forced into feminine clothing (like short skirts) and being called a girl (or a “good girl”, more specifically) arouses him sexually.
During that intimate episode, Max reports experiencing intense sexual arousal when his partner told him he would force him to wear a skirt and everyone would see him as a girl in consequence. Max also experienced intense arousal when his partner told him he would explicitly call him his “girlfriend” (as opposed to his boyfriend) and introduce him as such to others, so that they would see him as a girl.
Curiously enough, Max reports that when he imagines himself having a penis while being forced into a skirt, the image is much more erotically appealing than when he imagines himself having a vagina—the genitals he actually has. When asked if he is aroused by the mere idea of having a vagina and breasts, Max answers that he is not aroused at all.
Max also reports, in his other sexual fantasies, experiencing arousal from imagining himself having a deep voice, being more muscular, being shirtless with a flat chest, and being a physically powerful and dominant male. He also reports having experienced sexual arousal from wearing male clothes.
Max is possibly anorgasmic, as he reports never having experienced an orgasm. He says he was uninterested in anything sexual and had no sexual fantasies until he met his current partner about six months prior to this account. Max reports not masturbating much and having limited opportunities for intimacy with his current partner, given the long-distance nature of their relationship.
In a normal context, Max strongly dislikes being seen as feminine, as it triggers his gender dysphoria. He reports that the first time he masturbated to the idea of being forcibly feminized by his partner, he experienced distress the next day. He spent it dwelling on the matter, and it made him very depressed.
Max felt shame, horror, disgust, and guilt at the fact that those ideas of feminization afforded him sexual pleasure, seeing how they conflicted with his male gender identity. These negative feelings are akin to what autogynephilic men experience immediately after orgasm from their feminization fantasies, for the comparable dissonance between the erotic image of themselves as female and the reality of being male.
The next few times Max explored his feminization fantasies with his male partner, they engaged in aftercare: his partner reminded him that he sees him as a man, he called him handsome, and he used other words that reinforced Max’s masculine identity. This after-care alleviated some of the negative feelings associated with Max’s arousal from his feminization fantasies.
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➡️ Next part
Read the next case report in the series.
Hirschfeld, Magnus. (1910). Die Transvestiten: eine Untersuchung über den erotischen Verkleidungstrieb. Alfred Pulvermacher & Co.
Blanchard, Ray (1989). The Classification and Labeling of Nonhomosexual Gender Dysphorias. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 18(4), 315–334.