Aroused “all the time” by the mere thought of being a man with a vagina — Case report: Liam
Liam is an American gay man who never felt attached to his male genitalia and fantasized about having a vagina. Over time, this erotic fantasy grew into a sustained wish to undergo vaginoplasty.
📖 Background
Read the main article for an introduction to genital dysphoria in auto-AGMP.
📝 Case report — Liam
Liam1 is a 33-year-old White man from the United States. He came out as gay at the age of 20. Liam “never had a real attachment” to his male genitalia. He feels that his penis “gets in the way”. He doesn’t like “how it feels or looks”, and thinks it is “just wrong, like it shouldn’t be there”. During puberty, he always wondered “what it would be like to have a vagina and to be able to have sex in that way”, but he never “put too much thought into it”.
Liam has always considered himself just “a guy” until about five years ago when he started talking to a man online who had an interest in genital nullification. That was Liam’s introduction to the possibility of genital surgery to achieve a different morphology: either complete nullification with penectomy and orchiectomy, or penectomy with preservation of the testicles.
A few years after that encounter, Liam discovered that men who present as male can still undergo vaginoplasty, and that made him contemplate the possibility and research the topic. When he thought about it, the idea of removing his penis and obtaining a neovagina appealed to him more than mere genital nullification. He attributes this to the fact that a vagina would be “more fun” in terms of sexual ability. Liam has no interest in having both a penis and a vagina.
Beyond Liam’s attraction to cisgender men, he is also attracted to genitally nullified men and to men who have a vagina, including some FtMs. Even though he finds people with those unusual morphologies “hot” and admits to being aroused by them, he does not tend to seek them out as partners. This is due to sexual incompatibility: Liam is a “bottom” and he believes those partners are likely to be bottoms as well. For this reason, Liam has almost exclusively been with cisgender men. He has never felt sexually attracted to women.
Liam is sexually aroused by the mere idea of having a vagina—something that happens “all the time”. He is also aroused by the idea of genital nullification, but that fantasy is “not nearly as” erotic as having a vagina. When Liam masturbates, he likes to penetrate his anus with sex toys and pretend it is a vagina. He also likes to stimulate his perineum manually while pretending he is fingering his vagina.
Liam is also a masochist with an interest in chastity play. He wears a chastity cage that keeps his penis flaccid and “unavailable”. This makes him feel that touching his penis is akin to “manipulating a clitoris”. Strangely, Liam likes to imagine that the part of his penis that is internal to his body and buried under the surface of the skin “is a penis fucking [him] rather than [his own].”
Over the last two years, the idea of vaginoplasty has grown on Liam, and “it seems like the right thing” to him, although he clarifies he is yet to talk to a health professional about it.
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➡️ Further reading
Discover more about the wish to be a man with a vagina in the main article.
Fictitious name.